My Story

For over two years now, I have been practicing Original Hot Yoga (aka Bikram Yoga) regularly. And by regularly, I mean about every other day… or sometimes streaks of 50 days of classes in a row. I’ve fallen in love with the practice and it has changed my life so much, that I have decided to teach so I can share this gift with others.

With teacher training coming up in just a few months, I feel that my weakest point is that I have not really given myself the opportunity to experience different styles of yoga. I’ve taken a Vinyassa class here and there, but never really felt enough attraction to the style to go back and practice again. I know there is so much more out there, and I will find it all and try it all. I am willing to drive up to 50 miles each way to experiment with practice at different studios.

My home studio location has become my sanctuary. Even though Rhode Island Hot Yoga has two locations that are beautiful and have all the same amenities, I still even seem to prefer my “home base” in Providence. It takes huge effort to go out of my comfort zone to attend class at their flagship location in Bristol, even though they are both on my daily route and offer a similar schedule. If I am supposedly embracing a practice that is all about discomfort, then why am I still avoiding discomfort in these other areas in my life?

For quite some time I have been on a self-improvement voyage, and have hurdled over some difficult setbacks. Six years ago, I was obese, depressed, and chronically ill with an autoimmune disease, with no end in sight. I gave up hope on making myself better or doing anything meaningful with my life. I didn’t even think I would be able to work a full-time job again, and the thought of daily exercise and a packed schedule alongside work was laughable. I hated the gym, and was way too out of shape to take any dance classes (my former love and joy as a young adult).

Finally one day something kicked into gear, and I started going for daily walks. Short ones at first, then they grew longer. Eventually I was going for power walks up to 10 miles each day, and some of my favorite ones were in 80 and 90 degree weather. I was doing great for awhile. My heath improved and I lost considerable weight without much alteration to my diet.

But then winter happened. The walks stopped, the comfort eating started, and the seasonal depression set in. I could feel myself slipping back to where I previously was.

One day scrolling through Facebook I saw my friends checked in at RIHY, captioned with something along the lines of “omg just died and it was great.” I figured, I love the heat and I used to be pretty bendy, so I might as well give this a shot.

Holy shit, it was love at first death.

I showed up on a cold Friday in January to Bill’s “Bikram’s Beginner’s Yoga Class.” I got lost, and barely made it to class. It was absolutely packed, so he stuck me in the one spot where I could fit in the front row. There I was, looking at my miserable pudgy self in the mirror in a room heated to 105 degrees with 40% humidity.

Once class started I think I blacked out, because I don’t remember anything else other than having to sit down a few times. All I know is that the feeling at the end… that’s what got me hooked. It was like runner’s high, or that high you feel after an intense dance performance, except so much better.

I quickly lost 20 lbs, and had tons more energy. It was almost an overnight transformation. I had trouble looking at myself in the mirror during at first, but after a few weeks that changed too. I learned to love myself, and that what I don’t love about myself, I have the power to change. It was a complete mind and body transformation.

Again I sunk into a depression when I had to take time off (almost 3 months) of yoga for work, I didn’t really notice that was the reason for my mood. It clicked as soon as I got back to class and felt immediately better. It was one of the biggest “AH HA!” moments in my life.

From there, I never stopped. I ended up being such a regular face that I was the first student accepted into their teacher training program, and was offered a management position on the spot with no interview when a position opened up.

Six years ago I never would have imagined I was capable of holding down two jobs, exercising and meditating daily, and living my best life with a packed schedule that I find joy in every day.

Self improvement, I expect, will be a never ending journey. I don’t expect an “endgame” or some kind of spiritual awakening that gives me all of the answers to life’s great questions. What I do expect is to grow a passion for learning, and to never stop yearning for more.

With just my “uncomfortable” Original Hot Yoga practice, I have seen my anxiety fade away. When you face discomfort in the hot room, it prepares you to experience discomfort in the real world. I need to experience even more discomfort, and to see that I have the power to get myself through new situations. I don’t think this will just help me with my yoga practice, but with my entire life as well.

I’m ready.

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